PSA – Hurricane Preparedness

by Marvel Goose on September 6, 2017

[caption id="attachment_1106" align="alignright" width="150"]Water Cooler Don't Buy Bottled Water. Use This[/caption] It is that time of year.  The Weather Channel has Spoken and gallons of water are disappearing from the shelves in my home town.  In my experience, the Home Land Security People and the American Red Cross never ever get their Emergency Disaster supplies list correct.  As a public service, I now list for you a Hurricane Preparedness List that will get you through 72 hours in style. Disclaimer: Not Approved by the American Heart Association or Anyone Else Either. Helpful Hint: Buy Large Boxes of Everything from the Warehouse Store Three to Nine cases of beer, depending. Wine for your wife. Strategic Bourbon Reserve Ice Chests and Ice for Beer 50 pounds of backup ice in the deep freezer Just fill up the Water Cooler, don't buy water (see Picture) Fireworks and another amusements Vienna Sausages in pop top cans Easy Open Cans of Bennie Weenies SPAM, Bacon Flavored Couple of Cans of Sterno to Heat it All Up Case of Canned Boiled Peanuts Jar pickled eggs Gigantic Box of Slim Jims or Beef Jerky 6 pack of Cheese Whiz in a can Case of Soda Crackers One Case of Moon Pies, Honey Buns, or Little Debbies Extra Ammo if you need to go hunt for more food Extra Condoms 'cause the TeeVee's Out Case of Toilet Paper Flintstones Chewable Vitamins Beano, Pepto, Ex-Lax-O

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A shameless troll (me) posts a fake press release on a Kpop site and meltdowns occur. Unfortunately, one cannot create cutting edge satire without melting a few snowflakes

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