100 Things You Shouldn't Do in Valdosta

Here is the complete and growing list of Things You Shouldn't Do in Valdosta.  We're shooting for 100 things!  Got a THING?  Send it to 100things@thegoosesnest.com

Here is the list with the newest, first

1. Order iced tea without saying "sweet" or "unsweet" first.

2. Reminisce about the Good Ol' Days when Hugh Bailey was President of Valdosta State University.

3. Openly discuss your admiration for the genius of Charles Darwin

4. Circle repeatedly around the VSU campus in your late-model sports car while playing really loud rap music and carrying several ounces of marijuana in your glove compartment

5. Suggest that sidewalks would be a neat idea because they would allow people without cars to walk from neighborhood to neighborhood

6. Walk arm-in-arm downtown with your interracial spouse while singing "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing" at the top of your lungs

7. Be seen in Metro Magazine with the wrong woman

8. Be seen in Valdosta Magazine with anyone

9.  Put Hooter's Gift Certificates in the collection plate on Sunday

10. Put a goat farm on your little island of county property in the city

11. Volunteer to bring cookies to the breast feeding class at the Lowndes County Health Department

12. Expect to make a living wage at Valdosta State University

13. Expect anything intelligent in the VD Times Rant and Rave

14. Make fun of Baptists in your humor column

15. Admit you like the Boondocks comic strip

16. Answer an ad in the classifieds looking for a Gator Trapper

17. Keep turning when someone is trying to go across the street, and the cross walk sign shows he or she can "walk"

18. Buy furniture from Turners and try to get them to finance it! What a nightmare!

19. Look for a library at the "Carnegie Library" on Central Ave

20. Let your dog use the bathroom in your neighbor's yard.

21. Say that academics is more important than football

22. Call VSU “Valdosta College”

23. Call Valdosta Technical College the “Tech School”

24. Refer to Valdosta as “The Home of Enos from the Dukes of Hazzard”

25. Call it a pond instead of a bar pit, you dumb Yankee

26. Try to get anywhere on time if driving on Bemiss Road.

27. Drive through Remerton too fast, too slow, or too close to the center line.

28. Let your kids believe everything they teach them in the D.A.R.E. program - its ok to have wine with a meal!

29. Leave crayons on the seat of your car in the summer

30. Sit outside and let the mosquito's bite

31. Try to turn left onto Gornto from the Baytree Bank of America parking lot

32. Shout, "look at that mullet" when a redneck heaves into view

33. Pay list price for anything

34. Drive 75 mph on North  Patterson so you can catch all the red lights

35. Bet on the Braves winning the World Series

36. Be pregnant and wear a Bikini to Wild Adventures

37. Spit off the Sky Walk at VSU

38. Make fun of someone's southern accent

39. Make fun of a member of the Security Forces Detachment at Moody AFB for having a Northern Accent

40. Wear a Wildcat Cap at Lowndes High

41. Wear a Viking Cap at Valdosta High

42. Ask County Commissioner Rod Casey for the name of his barber (he's bald)

43. Turn the sound up during Yolanda Amadeo's Newcenter 10 Doppler  weather forecast (she's loud)

44. Ask for Breyers at Baskin Robbins

45. Forget that property taxes increase every year

46. Ask anyone in Clyattville where that smell comes from

47. Admit that Dr. Rossman was your physician

48. Suggest a reduction in summertime fireworks displays

49. Make Sopranos references at Mom and Dad's

50. Wear sandals in the Cleveland Field Men's Room

51. Wear your dentures to a country concert at Wild Adventures

52. Transport drugs on I-75 and drive real fast

53. Support City/County School consolidation

54. Watch the Fun Channel when you are sober

55. Watch Joe Nijem preach on channel 12 while drunk

56. Being late and expecting not to catch the damned old train on Baytree

57. Being early and not expecting to catch the damned old train on Baytree

58. Let go of your shopping cart in the Publix parking lot." It will roll 'til it hits 30 mph or a person, whichever comes first!

59. Ask; "Who was Wright Bazemore?"

60. Call Dominoes and ask for a Meat Lovers, Supreme, Pan, or Stuffed Crust (because those pizzas are at Pizza Hut)

61. Go out to Grassy Pond with a loaf of bread and say, "Here Gator, Gator"

62. Don't believe them when they say they are saving that collector car "for their grandson"

63. Talk about how good things are in Atlanta

64. Drive to Lake City for beer on Sunday and speed back to Valdosta with no headlights on.

65. Correct a native's pronunciation of the word Pecan.

66. Say that East Alden Avenue is NOT a cut through street to Williams Street or Ashley Street

67. Try to go through Zaxby's drive thru when you absolutely need something to eat right then!

68. Smoke Buglers anywhere because they look like joints.

69. Throw out cigarette butts on Baytree until you cross over the creek bridge out of Remerton!

70. Actually think that the bridges will ice over in winter

71. Expect more than 2 channels with rabbit ears

72. Ask why channel 35 goes from Moesha to Home Shopping to snow.

73. Give away your Yankee status immediately by asking if the term "pole bender" sounds perverted.

74. Put Your THING here!!!!!