October 2008

Little Robot Cars

October 29, 2008

Have you ever been on the Interstate when the sky took a rain dump? You couldn’t see ten feet in front of yourself. Meanwhile: SUV’s, cars, and Semi Tractor trailer loads zoomed by at 70 miles per hour straight into, well we don’t know what into because we can’t see it. Driving 70 when visibility […]

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Tech Support Dad

October 26, 2008

The average home now has more computers than your nearby insurance office. I am the tech support for the Guice family. I am on call 24/7. This is my story…

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Halloween Candy Bags Have Legs

October 19, 2008

Halloween candy disappears. This is a haunting fact that the candy manufacturers do not want you to know. A bag of Halloween candy left in the pantry will slowly grow legs and walk away. I am left with this theory about candy locomotion after a lengthy study of the ability for candy to disappear in […]

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Public Prayer Primer

October 17, 2008

In my hometown, you are going to be called on to pray some day. In public. With all your friends in the room. Most likely before eating. You will be judged for the quality of your work. This Public Prayer Primer will keep you from making a spectacle of yourself with the do’s and don’ts of preprandal, postprandal, and pre-game prayer.

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Gringotts Buys Scotland

October 13, 2008

London (The Daily Profit) – The Chairman of Gringotts Bank announced today that the bank had completed a deal to buy all of Scotland. Soloman “Swarmy” Smithmaite, Chairman of Gringotts, made the announcement to the Board at a dutch treat luncheon in the Leaky Caldron. He said that Gringotts had taken advantage of the recent muggle market panic to scoop up the whole northern portion of Great Britan.

During the questions period, Smithmaite was asked why he spent so much gold on muggle territory. “I didn’t spend any gold!” crowed Smithmaite, “I paid them in their own Muggle Money!” Smithmaite explained the transaction to the crowd, who could barely believe his cheek. “You see, Muggle Money is just imaginary numbers in computers.” he said.

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