Natural Fluids and Annexation

I was just minding my business at the Waffle House the other morning when I heard a conversation at the next table. The main speaker was an old geezer who was obviously retired with two days of grey stubble showing that he was also sans a wife. He was wearing an ancient stained Snap On Tools cap and a used to be blue one zip Sears coveralls.

"You know, I just hate all them stupid politicians. Like this annexation stuff (he didn't say stuff, but the word started with an "s"). I moved out of the city back in the 60's when some of those liberal types talked them into putting flouride into the water supply."

"What's that?" said his companion who was also equally old but showed signs of matrimony like a pressed shirt and clean jowls.

"It's poison is what it is. Them damned communists had the world convinced that putting it in the water would make your teeth stronger. What it was really was a way of sapping our natural, God given American character. Look at what happened to America since they started messin' with our water and you can see it plain as day."

"Yeah, the whole country went queer", said the clean geezer.

"Well I told them to put their water where the sun don't shine and bought a piece of land and sunk my own well. I thought I was shut of the lot of them, but people kept building houses out in the county and then started pissin' and moaning about needing fire protection and garbage service and all of that. I kept telling them to move back into the city if they was so all fired up about living like they was in the city, but no. The damn idiots wouldn't be happy until they got annexed and pretty soon all of them was living in the city 'cept me."

"Buncha pussies," said the clean geezer.

"You don't know the half of it. They kept asking me why I was holdin' out and I told them that I wasn't going to die of any old water cancer from fluorine and those trihalowhateverthehellitis stuff (another "s" word) they put in the water. I had good water, sulpher water, water that would put hair on your chest. Drink some of that stuff from the water bottle in the Frigidare so cold it made your teeth hurt and it tasted better than that crap they called water."

"You shoulda bottled that stuff" said the clean geezer.

"Those idiots were just dumb enough to buy what you could get for free outta the tap. Well now they're going to put me into the city without so much as a howdedo and make me dig up my septic tank."

"Thats a bunch of stuff"

"You damn betcha, well they can do what they want, but I ain't disconnecting the well. I'm gonna water on even days and odd days and any old day that suits me. Only one thing really about this really gets me pissed off."

"What's that?"

"Taxes. Now part of my property taxes is gonna go to support those damn Wildcats."