Bad Tabloid News

by Marvel Goose on July 4, 2009

Enough has happened in the past few weeks to keep the tabloids happy for months and months and months. I am posting the most obvious ones now so that I can collect the royalties later.

M. Jackson appears in tortilla

Micheal Jackson’s Face Appears on Tortilla Made in Mendocino

Chiconahui Jimenez found more than tortillas in her skillet Friday night

Karl Malden

Karl Malden’s Penis is Missing

Police think that a vengeful visitor snitched the wang during wake. Macabre market exists for celebrity body parts.  Part described as “remarkably resembling his nose”.

Billy Mays abducted by Aliens

Aliens Abducted Billy Mays

Wait, there’s more!

elephant man and michael jackson

Micheal Jackson and Elephant Man to Tour

Calling it the “Snuffed and Stuffed” Tour, mummified remains to go around the world. Special guest appearance in Moscow at Lenin’s Tomb.

ed and batboy

Batboy – I was Ed McMahon’s Love Child

In an emotional and sometimes incomprehensible press conference, Bat Boy finally revealed the secret of his origins.

vince slap chop

Billy Mays Didn’t Have to Die – Vince

If he had just used my Slap Chop® to eat healthy snacks and salads he would be with us today.

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