October 17, 2008
In my hometown, you are going to be called on to pray some day. In public. With all your friends in the room. Most likely before eating. You will be judged for the quality of your work. This Public Prayer Primer will keep you from making a spectacle of yourself with the do’s and don’ts of preprandal, postprandal, and pre-game prayer.
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October 13, 2008
London (The Daily Profit) – The Chairman of Gringotts Bank announced today that the bank had completed a deal to buy all of Scotland. Soloman “Swarmy” Smithmaite, Chairman of Gringotts, made the announcement to the Board at a dutch treat luncheon in the Leaky Caldron. He said that Gringotts had taken advantage of the recent muggle market panic to scoop up the whole northern portion of Great Britan.
During the questions period, Smithmaite was asked why he spent so much gold on muggle territory. “I didn’t spend any gold!” crowed Smithmaite, “I paid them in their own Muggle Money!” Smithmaite explained the transaction to the crowd, who could barely believe his cheek. “You see, Muggle Money is just imaginary numbers in computers.” he said.
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