Mostly Real

Bad Tabloid News

July 4, 2009
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Enough has happened in the past few weeks to keep the tabloids happy for months and months and months. I am posting the most obvious ones now so that I can collect the royalties later.

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Celebrity Deathwatch

July 2, 2009
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With a,b,c, and even d list celebrities dying at the rate of a few per week, I have decided to take advantage of the “wisdom of crowds” to see if we can work out the next one to die. Take the poll provided. You can vote on the people listed there or just add your own.

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How to Spend the Fourth

June 1, 2009
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One important thing was left out of Constitution: the right to bear fireworks. Like most laws banning something everyone is going to do anyway, Florida’s fireworks laws are a study in lunacy.

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Gay Marriage is the New Hotel California

May 26, 2009
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The unhappily married couple has to move to Massachusetts or New Hampshire and establish residency before they can be divorced. Does this sound like a new reality show or what? A boarding house for divorcing gay people, call it “Separate Beds and Breakfasts”.

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The Secret History of the Mad Streaker

February 15, 2009

No one missed seeing that streak. Especially not the girl in David’s nine fifteen class who recognized him. I don’t know how she knew and I don’t want to know. In class, she kept looking over at him in a fetching mixture of embarrassment, excitement, and pure lust. Every time she looked, David became more agitated

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