From the category archives:

Mostly Real

Celebrity Deathwatch

July 2, 2009

With a,b,c, and even d list celebrities dying at the rate of a few per week, I have decided to take advantage of the “wisdom of crowds” to see if we can work out the next one to die. Take the poll provided. You can vote on the people listed there or just add your own.

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How to Spend the Fourth

June 1, 2009

One important thing was left out of Constitution: the right to bear fireworks. Like most laws banning something everyone is going to do anyway, Florida’s fireworks laws are a study in lunacy.

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Gay Marriage is the New Hotel California

May 26, 2009

The unhappily married couple has to move to Massachusetts or New Hampshire and establish residency before they can be divorced. Does this sound like a new reality show or what? A boarding house for divorcing gay people, call it “Separate Beds and Breakfasts”.

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The Secret History of the Mad Streaker

February 15, 2009

No one missed seeing that streak. Especially not the girl in David’s nine fifteen class who recognized him. I don’t know how she knew and I don’t want to know. In class, she kept looking over at him in a fetching mixture of embarrassment, excitement, and pure lust. Every time she looked, David became more agitated

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Confessions of a Beauty Pageant Emcee

February 3, 2009

I began my Beauty Pageant career as the sacrificial lamb for the Alpha Zee Delta “Miss Beautiful” pageant in college. It was one of those men-dress-up-in-drag things where men act like women, or; more accurately, how a woman would act if she’d just drunk a case of beer and chased it down with a bottle of paint thinner.

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