Indian Giving Comments

I am a Smart Alec. I believe it is genetic, which is nice because that means I can blame it on my parents instead of me. I practice the craft of Smart Alecey on the blogs of others by leaving comments on their posts. Sometimes I just go overboard and come up with something that I wished I’d saved for my own blog.  Well, there is a Politically Incorrect way to take care of that…

To A Heart Broken Blogger

Over on a humor blog called Blunt Wit , J D has on his sad clown face because his heart was broken. Instead of humor, we get a really pretty, but very depressing post. I decide to lighten his day by leaving a radio commercial spoof

[light music] Romantic Love. Your mom warned you about it. Your friends said not to do it. But you did it anyway. Every day across America, someone turns another person into a mirror and falls in love. life is wonderful until… [cut music]

[funeral bell gong up and then under and long fade]

one day, the mirror breaks and you wake up depressed, lethargic, and changing your status on Facebook and MySpace while listening to bad country music you found on last.fm . Your phone fills up with all the sympathetic text messages from couples who will now avoid you like the leper you are.

It didn’t have to be this way.

[upbeat]

You could have followed the ten steps to cooling romantic love into something you can deal with. Its a new booklet from the Consumer Information Catalog. The booklet is free. Just Write: I Was A Damned Fool, Pueblo Colorado, 81009.

Romance, It Gives Love a Bad Name. [fading]

A public service message from Hallmark Cards, This Station, and the Ad Council®

See, I Told You They Were Out To Get Me

Over at Life is Good, Dana started free associating about all the people who were following her. I decided to come out from the cold and admit to being a member of the agency.

Here at the agency, we prefer to monitor people by the little microphone that was placed in your larynx when you had your tonsils taken out. We know everything about you — even what you scream in your more intimate moments.

So far, you’ve been lucky. But be warned! Cross us and we’ll frame you so quick that you’ll be sitting in prison marking off the days until you can stop being a L.U.R.D.

Yeah, we know you watched Kathy Griffin and know exactly what that means.

Go ahead and act feisty and tell all those fawning blog fans of yours that you are not afraid of us; but, remember, we’re watching… and Helga is waiting for you…

When she posted her Friday Feature about the best comments of the week, I wasn’t there.  Hmm, looks OK to me!

Wait for It

Then there was the rant that began its life as a comment on the Sanity on Edge Blog following someone uttering the standard complaint about Christmas materialism. It set me off. As you can guess, I am very much in favor of Christmas materialism.

After about 200 words tumbled out, I realized that I had something suitable for posting and, selfish charlatan that I am, I cutnpasted it over to here and deleted it off her blog. Sorry, ettarose!

This jewel grew to 500 words with bells and whistles and will automatically post to the world on December 1, 2009.

You’ll just have to wait for it!

Do not worry yourself about the sensibilities of my blogging friends. In this post I have placed hyperlinks that search engines will follow back to their blogs. They will gain extra authority on Technorati and Google. We’re all such attention whores that we’ll endure any amount of humiliation to get better rankings on search engines. How many of your friends can say that?

If you liked this silliness, please consider going over to Humorbloggers dot com and giving me a nice review.  No registration required.  We attention whores need our fix!

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Tagged as: Christmas, Human Comedy, Love, Romance, Spies