You cannot do that in Valdosta! There is something about being told “you cannot” that creates the urge to do it immediately. With that warning, here are more suggestions for our growing list of 100 Things You Cannot Do in Valdosta.
Last week’s posting brought a wealth of suggestions. I’ve included the ones that do not duplicate others. As always, I sometimes edit to make them punchy. Picks are made by me for any arbitrary notion I have and are not subject to any criterion of reasonableness.
When in Valdosta DON’T …
- expect Dexter Sharper to let a chance to run for office to pass him by.
- look dumb founded when someone asks to hold your pen, or ask why. Just let them have it; they’ll give it back.
- ask where the VSU Stadium is located.
- try to buy beer after 2 in the morning.
- be such a lush that you run out of beer at 2 in the morning.
- admit you are a Democrat.
- open a new bar. Nobody messes with Rockin Rodeo…nobody.
- use your blinker.
- feed your baby milk. Put Coca-Cola in the bottle! It’s a tradition!
- put your shopping cart in the cart drop-off. Leave it anywhere.
- tell a girl that you are from Moody AFB unless you are a pilot.
- look at the “I hate bugs” billboards.
- make fun of the “I hate bugs” billboards. It’s the owner’s daughter!
- expect to make good wages — unless you are from out of town.
- ask if it is incestuous to slow dance with your daughter at the Father/Daughter dance.
- diagonal park downtown, even if your little car will fit in that box.
- expect the lights to stay on after the first lightning strike.
You can propose your additions to the list by clicking on the comment link. Comments require that you either have a gmail account or an OpenAccess account. If you have neither, clicking on the comment link will give you a chance to do so.
The ones I pick for further consideration will be featured in a Daily Egg post and comments will be invited. If you survive that round, on the list you go. Picks are made by me for any arbitrary notion I have and are not subject to any criterion of reasonableness.
Welcome Back! Glad to see you again. Maybe you should subscribe to my RSS feed or email newsletter letter this time. Don't miss a single laugh!
