When I worked for FM-96 in Valdosta, I ran a letters to the editor radio program that consisted of me reading letters on the air. It made the FCC happy the entire ten years that I did this. When the supply of letters would go dry or the topics too stupid to bother with, I wrote my own. That’s how I created Remerton Sparkling Water.
Remerton has to treat the heck out of their water to get rid of the tannic acid in the water table. The water comes out of the tap with thousands of little bubbles swirling in your glass from over-chlorination. I wrote a letter thanking the city for providing us with hot and cold running club soda. They did not like the compliment.
Soon the jocks were talking on the air about having parties in Remerton to drink the water. We even had an autograph party where we drank Remerton Sparkling Water while station engineer Robert LaFore signed Halloween Trick or Treat bags that had a picture of him in a radiation suit on each and every one. Really, it was just a cartoon of a kid in a witches costume on a cheap plastic bag, but saying it was autographed made people willing to call in to win one.
People around here hate their water.
Valdosta has phantom Trihalomethane. We used to actually have Trihalomethane in the water supply until the city spent millions on new wells to get rid of it. No matter, many people can still taste it in there. Its like sniffing the air hours after you’ve cleaned that dog poop off your shoe.
My hometown of Lakeland, GA had sulfur water for years. For the uninitiated, that is water with trace amounts of hydrogen sulfide. You can imagine my family’s discomfort when Georgia Power transferred us to where the water had character. Sulfur water is best drunk when the water is chilled so hard that it hurts your teeth. Old timers will drink it without the chilling as they insist that the water is great “once you get past the smell.” The government gave the city a grant and they dug a deeper well with a filter on it and the sulfur water went away.
We got rid of something that people will pay good money to have. Here is what Health Hippo.com [note: they died a long time ago, link does not work, sorry] has to say about drinking sulfur water:
Sulfur helps increase blood circulation, reduce back pain, relieve migraine headaches, promote muscle healing, scavenge free radicals, beautify the skin, control acidity in stomach ulcers. It is important for carbohydrate metabolism and speeds wound healing.
A Google search will give you hundreds of hits for towns called “Sulfur Springs”. From the 1800’s until before World War One, people used to spend good money to take a bath in sulfur water and also drink the stuff.
Sulphur water is also the secret of eternal youth. This is what the Indians told the Spanish explorer Desoto when he was looking for the Fountain of Youth. Not only was he ripped off by this, but so have been the tens of thousands who have visited the Fountain of Youth in St. Augustine, Florida ever since; however, I must admit that I have drunk the water and I am still alive — just not youthful.
So, its time to quit your bellyaching and love your water. We have a gold mine flowing beneath our feet.
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