Vegetarian Chickens

by Marvel Goose on January 28, 2004

I was late to the store the other day and the regular large eggs were all gone. I took a carton of eggs from the top shelf in the “gourmet” section. When I got home, I. discovered that I had brought something truly disturbing.

“Eggs from Vegetarian Fed Chickens” proclaimed the label. Did that mean that the farm workers were vegetarian or were these crazy cannibal chickens feasting on the scrawny remains of well meaning vegans?

With thoughts of some agrarian Jeffery Dahmer feeding his victims to the residents of the hen house, I turned to the inside of the crate to discover that the chickens did not eat meat.

That was vaguely reassuring. The label assured me that Brand X chickens have “animal protein” mixed into their feed .Why is someone so worked up about chickens having hardening of the arteries? Its not like they’re going to be around long enough to worry about heart attacks.

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